We need to talk

Now that we have a lead on where Dr. Slager could be we're heading straight there. Hopefully we can get some more clues or even better, find my mother. Either way we're getting closer.

Alicia and I hadn't said a word since we left the library. I mostly just didn't know what to say. Also I had fallen asleep at some point. I hadn't gotten much sleep when we were being chased by birds. So I had some catching up to do.

By the time I woke up it was already night and the radio volume was turned up just high enough to be background noise. As she was driving Alicia noticed me stirring. “You awake?”

I yawned. “Hmmm, I think so.”

“Okay. When you're sure you're not dreaming let me know. I think we need to talk.”

I rubbed my eyes, trying to get them open properly. “Talk about what?”

“Mostly about the Fears being real. There's things you need to know about them.” She took a deep breath. “And also.. we need to talk about your crush on me.”

“Oh god. Do we really need to?” I could feel my face getting red. So I put my hands over my face to cover it. Hoping she wouldn't notice as long as she had her eyes on the road.

“I won't force you but this probably needs to be cleared up.”

“Yeah, you're probably right. Fine, let's pull this band aid off quickly.” I sighed, filled with dread.

“Alright.” She nodded.

I also took a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare for this conversation. It didn't help much. “Look I just.. You saved my life. Twice now. So I just think you're super cool. Plus you're helping me find my mother. So you're super nice too and I also think you're very pretty. And.. oh god, I'm sorry. Why did I even say that?” At this point I was almost hyperventilating.

“Well, I'm flattered but-”

“But you're not into me like that..”

She turned her eyes away from the road and directed them at me instead. She was frowning. “That's not what I was going to say. If I was just a normal girl living a normal life without this Fear bullshit, I'd probably ask you out or something. I think you're super adorable.”

“Really?!” My heart skipped a beat hearing this.

“However. I'm not just a normal girl. I'm a runner. I've .. lost people. I've lost everyone that was ever important to me. I'll be frank, once you get into this life it doesn't end well. There's no outcome that isn't tragic and I just can't go through that again.”

At which point my heart just cracked right down the middle. “I..I see. I'm sorry.”

“I'm sorry too. However, you've still got a chance. There is no Fear directly after you. You could still get out. So that's what I'll try to do. Once we've found your mother I'll try to find a way to get you a somewhat normal life. You deserve that.”

“Thank you.”

After that we talked about the Fears. Things I should look out for. How to recognize servants. What the runner signs all mean. Everything Alicia thought I should know. It was a lot. I should have probably made notes..

Comments

  1. The Faceless BastardDecember 10, 2018 at 11:41 AM

    Did... Did she mention me?

    Also yeah the whole constantly losing loved ones thing... It's why you two should totally just bone. No need to get emotionally intimate when you can get the same thing without the emotional baggage via physical intimacy. Of course I don't say this from experience... I don't think I've actually felt any kind of physical sexual urge in a long long time... Not sure if it was the fire that destroyed about 80% of my body or the hollowing when I became a nest, but I'm not sure I can actually be... Well aroused so all my relationships are purely emotional which seeing as I'm mostly only capable of negative emotions means most of my relationships are hate filled.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AMU ScribeDecember 10, 2018 at 1:29 PM

      No, why would she mention you?

      No, we won't.. no just, no. Why would you say that?! You know she reads this blog! Oh god now this will come up in conversation. Please, Alicia if you read this just ignore he said that. That's not a conversation I'm ready for.

      The rest of that paragraph is.. sad. Are you.. Okay?

      Delete
    2. The Faceless BastardDecember 10, 2018 at 1:32 PM

      Well I mean I'm as fine as a homocidal sociopathic monster can be I guess.

      Delete

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